Registration is now open for our May 19, 2017 workshop. Register here.
Forgiveness is about many things, but at the core, forgiveness is about recovering from violation and trauma in a way that does not harm the victim or victimizer. Forgiveness is often thought of as a “letting go” of pain, anger and bitterness. In this workshop, participants learn that forgiveness is not so much about “letting go” as it is about “putting back.” “Putting back” is about restoring as much love and trustworthiness to the relationships as is feasible and desirable in an ethical and sound therapeutic manner. Using the Restoration Model of therapy, participants will understand how love and trustworthiness form essential frameworks in the human psyche associated with identity and safety. When love and trustworthiness are violated, pain and coping results which tends to turn the victimized into potential victimizer. The Restoration Model outlines four pathways or stations to forgiveness. Insight is the first station that focuses work with the victim to be able to stop the victimizer from continuing violations. The second station is called Understanding and is where the victim comes to understand the development, history and limitations of the victimizer and the past legacy of the victimizer’s own victimization. Giving the Opportunity for Compensation is the third station and focuses on the victim and victimizer rebuilding a trustworthy relationship through sequential interactions that build a sense of safety. Finally, Overt Forgiveness is the station that allows victim and victimizer to confront the issue of past violations and restore their relationship through conversation and dialogue.
Through each station, ethical considerations for the individual, family and other relationships will be discussed and examined. Richly illustrated through case examples, experiential activities, and group discussion, this workshop promises to move therapists to a new understanding of helping those who have been hurt by relationships.
- Participants will be able to identify the two primary roots of violations where forgiveness can be helpful.
- Participants will be able to discuss the differences of the four stations of forgiveness and where each is appropriate in therapy.
- Participants will be able to demonstrate at least two techniques used in the work of forgiveness and Restoration Therapy.
- Participants will be able to identify at least three ethical considerations important to victims and victimizers of relational violations.
Terry Hargrave, Ph.D. is nationally recognized for his pioneering work with intergenerational families. Dr. Hargrave has authored numerous professional articles and eleven books including Restoration Therapy: Understanding and Guiding Healing in Marriage and Family Therapy (co-authored with Franz Pfitzer) and The Essential Humility of Marriage: Honoring the Third Identity in Couple Therapy.
Dr. Hargrave has presented nationally and internationally on the concepts and processes of family and marriage restoration, aging and is known for his clear and entertaining presentations. His work has been featured in several national magazines and newspapers, as well as ABC News 20/20, Good Morning America and CBS Early Morning. He has been selected as a national conference plenary speaker and as a Master’s Series Therapist by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.
He is a Professor of Marriage and Family Therapy at Fuller Seminary in Pasadena, California and is president and in practice at Amarillo Family Institute, Inc. He and his wife Sharon have two children, Halley Anne and Peter.